Every Theatrical STAR WARS Movie Ranked and Reviewed in One Sentence or Less

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With Rise of Skywalker a mere hours away from hitting cinemas across the U.S., I’m taking a look at every big-screen outing in the galaxy, far, far away, with a rating, quick review, and theatrical trailer for each.

11. Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) – 2/10
Overly long CGI battle sequences, rudimentary dialog, juvenile humor, contrived, often preposterous plot—this ill-advised cinematic retool of the originally intended inaugural episodes of The Clone Wars TV series is every terrible thing about the prequels, wrapped tight in a mind-numbing hour and 40-minute package.

10. Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999) – 4/10
Beyond Liam Neeson’s Qui-Gon, Ewan McGregor’s Obi-Wan, the villainous Darth Maul, and that trio’s epic light saber duel, the film is a half-baked, CGI-fest that goes all-in on selling toys to the kiddies.

9. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002) – 5/10
It’s more mature, and overall better, than its immediate predecessor, but it’s still plagued by many of Episode I’s problems, as well as an ill-conceived and poorly executed romance plot, which is central to both the film and the Star Wars saga.

8. Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi (2017) – 6/10
Writer-director Rian Johnson tosses franchise tropes in favor of expectation-defying non sequiturs and sociopolitical commentary, all to the film’s (and saga’s) detriment.

7. Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005) – 7/10
Though the best of the prequel trilogy by far, it’s overly-long and suffers from the same CGI-overkill that plagues its trilogy brethren.

6. Rogue One (2016) – 7/10
Though it isn’t exactly the gritty Star Wars, “heavy-on-the-war,” film we were sold, and the extensive reshoots are glaringly noticeable, Rogue One sports impressive moments, including a 5-minute finale that ranks as one of the franchise’s best sequences.

5. Solo (2018) – 8/10
For viewers who can accept the fact that lead Alden Ehrenreich isn’t Harrison Ford, Solo is a fun, fast-paced, space adventure that hearkens back to the original Star Wars in ways very few subsequent franchise installments have—though it may ultimately be a pointless exercise.

4. Return of the Jedi (1983) – 9/10
The final installment of the original Star Wars trilogy discards the darkness of the previous chapter for a more humorous, child-friendly adventure but still manages to serve as a satisfying closer to arguably the greatest saga to ever grace the silver screen.

3. Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015) – 10/10
It parallels, amalgamates, and inverts the best plot points and characters from the original trilogy, creating something familiar yet fresh, effectively washing away the unpalatable flavor of the prequel saga and paving the way for an exciting new era in the galaxy far, far away.

2. The Empire Strikes Back (1980) – 10/10
The first Star Wars sequel can’t top the original in…well, originality, but it does manage to surpass it in depth, scope, visual delight, and bleakness.

1. Star Wars (1977) 10/10
Still the standard-bearer for blockbusters, George Lucas’s original sci-fi masterpiece boasts groundbreaking special effects and a big dose of old-fashioned fantasy/adventure.